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05 July 2011 @ 10:33 pm
Epiphany  
I have come to realize something. I am a horrible person and rpger. I am completely unreliable, really I am. I am easily distracted, yes a shiny object metaphorically speaking. I plan on doing things, but I don't end up doing them. I just let myself become so distracted, I do live up to my plans and other plans I have agreed to.



I am in several rpgs myself. Five of them, and you know what, I don't post regularly in any of them. I focus on one rpg and then go on to another and focus on the other. As I said, I am completely unreliable.



In this one rpg, I planned a couple and the plan was that my character Bella (Sailor Moon) rpg and I didn't write it out how I planned. I made her sound like, well a bitch and that's not how I designed her in the first place! She was completely out of character! I hate writing out of character. It's why I loved having a beta for my fanfics.



Maybe I need to take a break and start cutting out my characters or just quit them, I don't know. It's getting to the same point it did for me a couple of years ago, where I was suffering multiple breaks downs and had to quit rpging for nearly a year.



I used to enjoy writing and there is one rpg that it seems like everything is okay, just one. A Harry Potter rpg, but that's the only place that I seem to be enjoying. Their canon writers are fun to read about, especially their Remus Lupin writer, he's brill at it.



I just don't know what to do right now.
 
 
Current Mood: distresseddistressed